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//Author’s Notes: Written in 2013. Originally formatted with a double “click to reveal”, first after the “I remember” and then after “my time to strike”.
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I’m smarter than he thinks. My captor, the giant, thinks himself superior to me, or else he’d never leave me alone in his lair. I keep up the farce, pretending to be stupider than I am in the hope of convincing him to lower his guard.

I may not be the brightest, I admit. Honestly, I have trouble with my memory. Sometimes I forget what day it is, what my mother’s voice sounded like, or whether or not the giant has already given me my rations of water and dry grain. But I remember some things. The important things.

Like the fact that giant food is just for giants. That’s a night I’ll never forget even if I tried — and I have.

He lumbered out of the cave complex, sealing it like always. This time though, he’d left a veritable feast within my reach. He’d never offered his meals to me and I’d never tasted what giants ate, but that night, curiosity got the better of me.

I climbed up the massive table, and saw slabs of meat too large to have come from any animal I’d ever seen. I gnawed on a piece and found it delicious but much too salty. Parched, I looked around and spied the giant’s cup, large enough for me to fit my entire head inside.

The drink was something warm and dark, with a strong acrid scent to it. It wasn’t so hot as to burn me, so I stole a sip. It remains the most bitter and disgusting thing I’ve ever tasted. To this day I wonder if the giants’ disposition would be better if they didn’t drink such harsh swill. Perhaps my colossal warden wouldn’t imprison a smaller being like myself for his own amusement.

He wasn’t amused when he caught me. I felt the air pressure change as he unsealed the entryway, and vibrations traveling from the ground through his tree sized furniture told me he was back; I had been reeling from the taste of his dark and evil brew, and didn’t manage to hide before he saw me.

Sometimes when he leaves, it is for long stretches of time, so long that I’d forget I were his hostage were I not still in his prison. He usually greets me in his strange tongue when he returns, since I’m the only other living thing in this particular set of caves. At least, I assume it to be a greeting — I don’t speak the language of these gargantuan monsters.

When he noticed me near his food, he called out, not in greeting but in wrath, flying over with his giant’s gait to the table. I pondered for just a second if it was safe to make the jump from a height nearly five times my own. Then fear kicked in and I leaped.

He continued to wave his warms about in frustration while speaking his bizarre language, not even pausing to see if the fall had hurt me. It hadn’t, but the drink was starting to make me feel very funny, so I sauntered off to the cave he’d set up as my latrine. He never liked to follow me there, and it’s not like I’d really understood a single word of his complaining anyway.

I may not know his language, and I may not remember much, but I’m still smarter than he thinks. That’s because for the years I’ve been cooped up with this beast, I’ve never forgotten who I was. Even the massive creature and his allies know of my legacy.

This I’m sure of because I have heard my name pass his strange lips, and not just derisively. No, I’ve heard him proudly state my full name and rank to the other titans in his tribe. He surely gloats about having captured me, as securing a prisoner of war of my standing is likely the greatest event of his long and evil life.

I cannot remember the battles I’ve fought. They, like my family, are lost in the years that I’ve been captive. I do still recall my name and my function. I was a noble commander of my people, my name a proud warrior’s name, and I will honor that soon enough. The giant has suffered my attacks previously and mostly shrugged them off, but it is only a test of patience until his weaknesses are known to me.

I continue to plot. Every day, whether he occupies this realm or absconds elsewhere to leave me to suffer in my agony in solitude, I watch. I climb up to the windows and rehearse in my mind which branches I can climb down to make it safely to the ground outside. I listen for the patrol of other giants in their nearby caves. Most of all, I watch my captor when he is here, learning and waiting for my time to strike.

It will not be today and may not be tomorrow, but I will make this demon rue the day he captured Admiral Buffy Tiberius Guerrero Anaximander Catbar!

Admiral Catbar, totally the author of this post.

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//Author’s Notes: That’s actually her full name — I just call her Addie. That said, this was based off a true story, when she jumped on the table and decided to take her chance to taste coffee for the first time. She was disappointed by the taste, and I was disappointed that I had to pour a fresh cup. Still, she’s kinda adorable, so I forgave her.
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